The Endless Daydream Gone Mad

I’m pushing the coffee back for the beer. The crack of the top brings some kind of peace to me, that maybe I only knew as a child running through a field in the frozen hourglass they call rural Ohio.

I’ve thought I was many things throughout the years that foolish people think define us, though reality says I am also a fool for thinking at all ... for assuming I am anything at all.

I am an ant crawling along the floor of an endless daydream gone mad. I am a drop of rain that slammed into the ground at immeasurable speed exploding into a billion tiny tears, only to collect myself and climb to the closest cloud for another fall.

That’s what I am. That’s all I am.

Stop pretending whatever it is you are doing is more important than just sitting on the ground and looking across at whatever is there.

I thought I found love, about 400 times. Fuck off, I did (think so anyway).
Because that’s the only way to walk down the street – the only way to look into the eyes of a beautiful girl who you marry for a moment in time.
And maybe a little longer ... sometimes.

I’ve lost my heart to an Otis Redding song.
His voice shattered me into a mess of pieces unrecognizable on the floorboard of my car.

I kept driving, and I kept loving. Pulled up to the next bar and fell in love again, but I only had a piece of heart to slide across the bar, but my smile was still on point ... my eyes never let on to what was going on below.

I can disappear for sometimes a year at a time.
Here I sit though, same old haunt, a computer screen glaring “off bright” toying with my eyes, keys daring me to push them.

So I push. And I push.
I’m pulled and I’m pulled. I’m full and fooled.
Until I’m empty again.

Until the lights don’t know what time it is and I don’t know what day it is.
Music is my favorite companion. She doesn’t give a couple of damns what time it is, what day it is or what my name is.
She just wants to dance in my head ... and I let her.
She’s beautiful.
I’m once again ... in love.
Number 401.

Crack. Sip. Smile.

~ Jack Piatt